he Dark Romance or Romance Genre is often deemed to serve a certain role model. A model of the woman pleasing the man. I actually read a lot of romance books that were the opposite.
Was the guy rich?
Mostly. It’s kind of an alluring fantasy. Although, you don’t have to deal with the narcism of a real billionaire. This one is just a book boyfriend, eveloping over time.
Was the girl depended on him?
No, in most cases she was not. Or maybe I DNFed the books where she was….
So, why did I start by telling you about what I read? Because, writers are readers, too. A point often rejected by Booktokers and Bookstagrammers.
A writer just writes.
A reader does just that: reading.
Talk about role models…
This morning I came across a brilliant article about the ongoing request of women being a traditional wife. Some of you might not like my opinion on that but hear me out, first.
I grew up with a mother that was exactly that: a traditional wife. Something like that was rare back then. 99,8 % of the women went to work every single day. Yet most of them had more than one child. They were supported by public childcare, so there was no need to worry about leaving a kid alone at home. That is very different from today’s options. Yes, there is childcare but, in most cases, you must apply before you even conceived the child, just to get on the list.
See, there would be no need for that, if the women would just understand their role, being a traditional wife. Oh, I can hear this comment already in my head. No need for you to speak those words. Here is the thing, it makes a huge difference if a kid is growing up socializing in public childcare or staying home with his or her mom. The effect of real childcare on a society is of great value. Yet, we lack that.
Just look around you. Do your kids still play with others without having their hands on a smartphone? Do they just talk with others? Do they crave reading books or hoping someone will read a book to them? Yes, they do hang out with each other. Though they walk or sit next to each other without looking up from their smartphones. I call that being lonely while in company.
Social behavior, like sharing activities (e.g. hiking, biking, playing Tennis or Chess), having a real conversation, or even accepting other opinions is not something you learn from a mother, being a traditional wife. You learn all of that from being part of a group. No, I am not talking about an Instagram, Whatapp or any other social media group. I am talking about making friends, real friends. A mother, being a traditional wife, can’t teach you all of it. It is not even a guarantee, she will love you, dearly.
A traditional wife, a construct that only lives in the head of frightened men, has a lot to deal with herself. Staying in shape, so he won’t look at other women. Wrinkles? God forbid! He will just turn around, looking for the next young fling. She needs to avoid mental problems, because he will fix that for her by calling a doctor and getting her on medication. She will only own things he gave on special occasions. Another question is, does he want to have a conversation with her? If he does, she needs to be smart and well read. Serving this strange idealistic model sounds kind of sounds life threatening.
So, yes I did witness all of that as a kid. I despised it, still do. Life is not about pleasing someone else. Life is about growing. Growing physically, mentally, and spiritually. So if there is one thing, you won’t find in my Dark Romance books it a woman serving the traditional wife idea.